Namaste in the Land of Gods (part 4)

BREATHE

The third and last healing element of my retreat in the East was going to be the breathing, or the yoga practice with my amazing Indian yogi friend and the best yoga teacher in the world!

Deep breath in, deep breath out! 

By deepening your breath at the beginning of a yoga session, you are calming your mind and directing it towards the practice that will follow. Similar to meditation, yoga practice requires absolute concentration. You need to stop any thoughts of regret or guilt about the past, and anxiety or worries about the future. Have I sent the email to my client? What topic will come up on my exam? Have I switched off the stove? Ok, this last one might be important… Just forget about all this and focus your mind on the practice, the breathing, the movements and the poses.

Yoga practice is intimately related to the religious beliefs and practices of both Hinduism and Buddhism. The word "yoga" was first mentioned in ancient sacred texts called the Rig Veda - one of the four Vedas, and before Siddhartha Gautama became Buddha, he was a scholar and a yogi. This is yet another proof that everything is connected - food, religion, meditation, and yoga. 

The bible of any yogi is the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali - a collection of 195 Sanskrit rules on the theory and practice of yoga, compiled in the early centuries CE by the sage Patanjali in India, who synthesized and organized knowledge about yoga from much older traditions.

The compilation is best known for its reference to ashtanga, or the eight elements of yoga practice - yamas (abstinences such as non-violence, truthfulness and not stealing), niyamas (observances such as disinterest in acquiring more than one's needs of life and persistent meditation), asanas (yoga postures), pranayama (focusing on the breath), pratyahara (withdrawing of the mind and senses from the objects), dharana (concentration of the mind about one object and avoiding other thoughts), dhyana (meditation or a stream of continuous thought about one object, uninterrupted by other thoughts of different kind for the same object) and samadhi (stillness of the mind and recognition of purusha - the soul of the universe, the universal spirit present everywhere, in everything and everyone, all the time - as one's true identity).

Dharana and dhyana might sound similar but the difference between them is that a yogi in a state of dharana on the morning sun may be aware of its brilliance, color and orbit, while the yogi in a state of dhyana contemplates on the sun's orbit alone, without being interrupted by its color, brilliance or other related ideas. 

The Yoga-kundalini Upanishad, another text which is a minor addition to the Vedas, mentions for the first time the main concepts that yoga practice works with - the chakras, the nadis, and the kundalini. 

Yoga helps balance the chakras through physical postures but also breath, meditation, and mindfulness. Chakra means "wheel" in Sanskrit. It refers to a complex and ancient system of energy points in our body, or spinning disks of energy, that should stay "open" and aligned, as they correspond to bundles of nerves, major organs and glands producing hormones that affect our physical well-being, but also our behaviour and feelings, and therefore our emotional well-being as well. 

In other words, the vital force of energy in our body moves through these "wheels". Any blockage of a chakra will trigger a physical or an emotional issue. There are continuous chakra blockages, but also blockages that might pop up every now and then because the chakras are not static but constantly rotate energy, trying to balance our system. Out of more than 100 chakras, there are seven main ones situated from the base of the spine to the crown of the head. Each of them has a corresponding number, name, specific area of the body, color, sound (or vibration or mantra) which can be chanted aloud or mentally for activating and balancing the relevant energy center, and, of course, health focus. 

The first root chakra is at the base of the spine, has the colour red and the sound "LAM", and relates to survival, origins, stability and grounding, both physically and emotionally. As a source of sustaining life, it is connected to the adrenal gland which produces adrenaline, controlling our behavior in the survival mode. A blocked root chakra can manifest as physical issues like arthritis, and bladder or colon problems, or emotionally through feeling insecure about finances or our basic needs and well-being. 

The second sacral chakra is just above the pubic bone and below the belly button, has the colour orange and the sound "VAM", and relates to sexuality, pleasure and creativity. It often is referred to as the sexual chakra as it connects with all reproductive organs like ovaries and testicles and the linked hormones are estrogen and testosterone. Issues with this chakra can be seen via problems with the associated organs, like lower back pain, and impotency. Emotionally, this chakra is connected to our feelings of self-worth.

The third solar plexus chakra is in the stomach area just above the navel and below the diaphragm, has the colour yellow and the sound is "RAM", and relates to determination, will power, courage, self-esteem and self-confidence. It is the fire we feel within and the fire that digests the food, and therefore the connected hormone is insulin secreted by the pancreas. Blockages in the third chakra are often experienced through digestive issues like ulcers, eating disorders, and indigestion. It is the chakra of our personal power. 

The fourth heart chakra is at the center of the chest, just above the heart, has the colour green and the sound "YAM", and relates to love, compassion and forgiveness. It is the capability to feel unconditional, divine love. Blockages in our heart chakra can manifest in our physical health through heart problems, asthma, and weight issues. People with heart chakra blockages often put others first, to their own detriment. It is the middle of the seven chakras, so it bridges the gap between our upper and lower chakras, and represents our ability to love and connect to others. When out of alignment, it can make us feel lonely, insecure, and isolated.

The fifth throat chakra is at the center of the throat, has the colour light blue and the sound "HAM", and relates to verbal communication, truth, teaching, and expression. Voice and throat problems, as well as any problems with everything surrounding that area, such as the teeth, gums, and mouth, can indicate a blockage. Blockages can also be seen through dominating conversations, gossiping, speaking without thinking, and having trouble speaking your mind. When in alignment, we will speak and listen with compassion and feel confident when we speak.

The sixth brow or third eye chakra is on the forehead between the eyes, has the colour purple or indigo and the sound "OM" (which is pronounced "AUM"), and relates to intuition, wisdom and imagination. Since this chakra is physically located on the head, blockages can manifest as headaches, issues with sight or concentration, and hearing problems. People who have trouble listening to reality (who seem to "know it all") or who are not in touch with their intuition may also have a blockage. People whose sixth chakra is open and in alignment will follow their intuition, and be able to see the big picture. Also, in Hinduism, the third eye (also called the mind's eye or inner eye) is an invisible eye, supposed to provide perception beyond ordinary sight and representing the enlightenment one achieves through meditation. It is seen in representations of Shiva who is referred to as "Tryambaka Deva", or the three-eyed lord, where his third eye, depicted by three horizontal lines in the middle of his forehead, symbolizes the power of knowledge, and the detection of evil. The third eye, or the "Eye of Wisdom", is discerned on the Buddha images as well.

The seventh crown chakra is at the very top of the head (technically outside the body), has the colour violet, white or no colour at all and the sound "OM" or no sound at all, because it is perceived as beyond visible colour or audible sound, and relates to awareness, intelligence, and limitless knowledge. The crown chakra is linked to every other chakra (and therefore every organ in the body), and so it affects not just all of those organs, but also our brain and nervous system. It is considered the chakra of enlightenment and represents our connection to our life’s purpose and spirituality. Those with a blocked crown chakra may seem narrow-minded, skeptical, or stubborn. When this chakra is open, it is thought to help keep all the other chakras open and to bring the person bliss and enlightenment.

The main chakras are located along our three main inner energy channels called nadis, which run from the base of the spine to the head - the ida on the left, the sushumna in the center and the pingala on the right. Ultimately, the goal is to unblock these nadis in order to bring moksha, or nirvana or liberation. Through repeated movements, dynamic breathing techniques, chanting, meditation and mantras, the spiritual practice of kundalini yoga is designed to awaken the kundalini - a form of divine feminine energy or Shakti, often symbolized as a serpent coiled at the root chakra at the base of the spine - in order to guide and draw it upward through each of the seven chakras. When the nadis are open and unblocked, the kundalini can rise up the sushumna until it reaches the crown chakra at the top of the head, which will lead to the blissful state of samadhi, symbolizing the union of Shiva and Shakti. 

There are different types of yoga practices other than kundalini yoga, such as hatha yoga which is relatively gentle and slow, yin yoga where poses are held for five minutes or longer which might be challenging, vinyasa or flow yoga which is a vigorous style based on a rapid flow through sun salutations where the individual poses (asanas) are linked by flowing movements (vinyasas) and vary all the time, ashtanga yoga which is similar to vinyasa but you experience the same postures in the same sequence each time, and restorative yoga when you practise asanas, each held for longer than in other yoga types, often with the support of props such as folded blankets, in order to relax the body and reduce any stress.

Most yoga classes have two things in common though. They all use the same yoga postures, which involves learning a whole new language but what a fun one! Downward facing dog, pigeon, cat and cow, warrior (1, 2, 3 or reversed), cobra, lizard, eagle, cactus, mountain, lotus, child and my favourite pose at the end of the class which implies total relaxation after the efforts - shavasana or corpse pose! Another common thing in all types of yoga are the sounds, vibrations or mantras, corresponding to one or more chakras, that you might chant during your practice.

The most commonly known sound associated with yoga and meditation and the most important and powerful mantra is "OM" or "AUM", which is connected with the third eye chakra. It is believed to be the first sound in Hinduism and the primal sound of the universe, encompassing all other sounds. By chanting the mantra, we thank and give back to the universe as we are all part of it. "OM" is thought to be the vibration from which the entire universe originates, representing the past, present, and future all at once. Because of this, chanting "OM" is said to connect you with this universal vibration, aligning you with the energy of the cosmos. The sound "OM" actually consists of three syllables - A, U, and M - that each have a particular meaning. A (pronounced "ah") is said to represent the beginning, the creation, and the waking state. U (pronounced "ooh") is said to represent the middle, the preservation, and the dream state. M (pronounced "mmm") is said to represent the end, the destruction, and the deep sleep state.

Chanting "OM" is believed to bring balance to these three states, which may possibly help you feel more centered and peaceful. In order to chant the sound, you need to take a deep breath in, and then exhale while chanting "OM" broken into three parts: A (ah), U (ooh), and M (mmm). You may feel a bit silly at first, but I promise that you will quickly get used to it and really feel the benefits of the vibration through your brain and body.

The written form of the sound in Sanskrit ॐ is the most important symbol in Hinduism. It is the essence of the consciousness, self, or the cosmic world, and serves as a sonic representation of the divine. It is the basic tool for meditation in the yogic path to liberation. The practice of Om meditation, which involves chanting the sound "OM", is an ancient tradition that has been practiced in many cultures for thousands of years, with the goal of producing a vibration that can be felt throughout your body, helping you relax and focus.The syllable is often found at the beginning and the end of chapters in the Vedas, and other Hindu texts. It is a sacred spiritual incantation made before and during the recitation of spiritual texts, during puja, in ceremonies such as weddings, and during meditative and spiritual activities such as yoga. Most yoga practices actually either start with chanting it one or more times, which helps you center yourself and prepare your mind for the practice, or finish with it to bring you back to your daily life. 

There are many healing sounds other than chanting "OM". While wandering around the small streets of Rishikesh, we discovered an amazing shop for healing musical instruments with tons of treasures. Tapping on one of the specific chakras represented on the healing gongs exhibited there brought the specific frequency of the sound and vibration associated with this energy center in order to stimulate, balance and heal it. The sounds are so profound, transcending and somehow surreal that they will give you goosebumps. The shop also boasted a huge variety of singing bowls. A group of people in the back of the shop were trying a few bowls, creating resonant sounds, powerful vibrations and total relaxation for the rest of the customers. Later on, in the Buddhist monastery in Clement Town, we came across more bowls, this time from Tibet, which are reputedly the most powerful meditation, stress- and anxiety-relief tools. I could not resist buying one…

Besides, or rather on the opposite spectrum of, the stress-relief and healing sounds, India has on offer an entire "symphony" of noises, which are actually the essence of daily life! In order to understand these sounds, you need to first learn more about the country, which is hectic but in an organised way! 

You might think that driving in India is crazy and dangerous, but there are actually unwritten rules, including the three golden rules, or 3Gs of Good Horn (the honking concert is ubiquitous!), Good Break and, the most important one, Good Luck. Most people do not wear seatbelts on the back seats (it is not mandatory…), invoking karma as the rationale for their choice - if it is their time, it is their time, whether they wear a seatbelt or not… 

In India nothing happens in the expected timeframe or deadline - you just need to be patient! Sometimes, it might seem that the only goal during your days and nights would be to find peace and quiet in the surrounding craziness… 

All of a sudden, I understood why the Indians had invented yoga and meditation - they needed to be able to focus on their inner self despite the outside distractions, or else… The alternative was frightening! 

The crowds, the hecticness, the hustle and bustle and, above all, the constant noises would have driven them crazy…

The week I spent in Dehradun was in the middle of the wedding season in India, when the gods had “woken up”, as my friend mysteriously explained. So there were at least one and sometimes even two wedding celebrations per day, which meant loud drums, songs and music until at least 2am… The fact that most Indian weddings lasted many days did not help either…

And then, at around 5am when the music had finally stopped for a couple of hours during which I had managed to get some sleep, the house started shaking... The first day I got quite scared and did not even dare open the curtains to check what was going on. After an hour of shaking (after our earthquake experiences in Japan, Ecuador and Mexico, I deduced with an absolute certainty that this was not the deed of the Earth…), I finally peeped through the window and saw dozens of wild gray langurs, native to the Indian subcontinent. The cute baby monkeys were running around the huge balcony, which explained the shakes, while the grown-ups were taking their early morning bath. 

They were so close! Since it was impossible to sleep anyway, I watched them for at least an hour while the sun was slowly rising on the horizon! 

Once they had left at around 7am to go back to the forest, the shakes were replaced by the chirping of the birds and the morning prayers from the nearby Hindu and Buddhist temples. The chants were beautiful and transcending - it felt like I was attending the prayer myself! At around 8am started another ubiquitous noise - the honking of the cars on the roads, which turned into real concerts, especially at crossings and roundabouts (sensitive ears, beware!). When I started hearing the final part of the daily Indian "symphony" - the drilling and hammering of the construction works in the distance, it was time to get up and I was rewarded with the sight of squirrels playing around and woodpeckers working hard on their trees in the forest! 

The nights in India were short - 2 to 3 hours of sleep per night was definitely not enough! When I started wondering whether my friend had some extraterrestrial skills which helped her sleep despite all these noises, she revealed that the secret was sleeping with earplugs! I decided that I was definitely going to follow her example the next time I was visiting the country. When in India, sleep as the Indians sleep! 

I think that in a week, I found only one peaceful and quiet place in the whole region, and it was not an ashram but a farm in the countryside! 

The ashrams and temples were actually located next to busy roads or the Ganga where the daily aarti took place, and were not that peaceful at all… On the other hand, the Khan farm near Dehradun was far away from any cities and settlements, next to a forest where it was possible to spot wild elephants and even tigers! If you trust the numerous elephant crossing signs everywhere in the region, it might look easy to spot elephants on the roads but, as for many other activities including driving in India, you need loads of luck!

The various noises in Dehradun - the honking, the drums, the prayers and the construction works - were present every moment of the day! If you think that doing yoga and mediation in these conditions was crazy and purposeless, you will be wrong! The whole purpose was to overcome all these distractions! The most amazing, almost miraculous thing was that my friend and I focused so hard on our breathing and the practice during our daily yoga classes that the noises, including the loud wedding drums, completely disappeared! It felt like soft music had replaced the pother and din in our ears!

The first couple of days of my yoga practice in Dehradun were quite challenging. I was trying to do the perfect asanas (yoga poses) even when my body was not cooperating. Three things happened and changed that. Our yoga teacher Vijay, who had adapted the practice to what my body needed, was also helping me twist when it was too difficult to do it on my own. Then, despite the challenges, I decided to give it all the positive thoughts and strength that I could, as I knew it was going to be transformative and beneficial to my body and mind. And last but not least, I realised that I did not need to be perfect or the best, but just do my best and simply listen to my body. Each person, each body and each mind are unique, suffer from specific illnesses or blockages, have specific strengths and skills, and therefore need specific practice, poses and breathing techniques, in the same way that each of us needs a specific food diet to keep our body slim and healthy.

Also, each of us follows various habits or patterns in our life, both physically, mentally and emotionally. When this pattern is wrong and brings us illness or makes us take bad decisions in our personal or professional life (or, in other words, make the same mistakes over and over again), we need to break (or, in other words, change or correct) these habits or patterns of our body, mind and soul. Yoga can play a vital role and help us do this. It can both heal us and keep us in good shape where both body and mind function in harmony throughout our entire life. There are specific asanas (yoga poses) for each disease and pain, which create strength, awareness and stability in both the body and the mind. Also, depending on our current mindset or situation, we unconsciously stand or sit in a different way when we are happy, angry, sad or anxious. By consciously forming the body in a certain posture, we align our inner system with the outer world and the universe, which has tons of benefits. The yoga poses might not seem like proper working out but, by practicing yoga, you may accomplish what you would otherwise need many sports and other activities to achieve - creating good posture (I went to ballet classes for years but it never actually helped), improving the flexibility of the muscles (various sports help you stretch different muscles), boosting the metabolism (this is what high-intensity interval training involving quick and very intense bursts of activity is for), improving the blood circulation (cardiovascular exercises usually do that), and relaxing the nervous system (art classes, reading or simply sleeping are the answer to this one). Above all, yoga helps in the even distribution of energy in your body, which in turn helps the mind to develop peace and calmness. It takes you to a higher dimension, perception and possibility, allowing you to live your life in a better and more fulfilling way.

In order to practise yoga, you need to align your body, breath and mind which have to all work together. There are days when you will find this easily achievable, and others when you will feel restless and it will be difficult to focus on the present moment and your practice. If this is the case, you simply need to accept this, keep going (do not give up and postpone it to another day!), and simply do your best. As the Kung-Fu panda said it rightly in the famous cartoon, there is no good or bad, only the way we react to something happening in our life. At the beginning of your yoga practice, you should always acknowledge, without any judgment, how your body and mind feel, and then just go with the flow of the universe.

In the same way that it is easier to follow the current of a river and not fight against it, it is better to go with the flow of the universe and not against it. This means that you should not try to control or fight the breath, but simply acknowledge and follow it. You should not fight or resist the yoga poses, but use the breath to help stretch your body, and in particular the dormant muscles. You just need to breathe and always, absolutely always, listen to your own body! If your face is squeezed and grumpy, it means that you are fighting the poses or the breath, and it is always good advice to try to smile while doing a pose. Also, in the same way you should breathe through the stomach and not through the chest when you are stressed, during yoga practice you need to focus on our navel which is the center of the universe, get all energies to the navel, and breathe through it. The ultimate door to the benefits of yoga is the breath! Once you have understood how to synchronise the breath with the yoga poses and movements, you have found the Holy Grail! 

The key word is "breathe", always! Never forget to breathe during your practice, because by breathing, you are connecting with the universe. The breath is the vital force of the body that purifies the nadis and helps the muscles to stretch further. Even though you are naturally very flexible and can do many yoga poses and movements effortlessly, if you do not breathe properly, you are not practising yoga and getting all the benefits of it, but simply working out. And never fight anything - neither the breath, nor the thoughts, the poses, or the movements. You need to accept them and surrender. When you are preparing yourself for practice and random thoughts start crossing your mind while you are trying to concentrate and deepen your breath, you should not fight them but simply acknowledge them and let them slide effortlessly through your mind and conscience. If you start fighting them, you are giving them power and the ability to drain the energy that you need for your practice.

The prerequisite goal is to understand what your health issues or sensitive parts of your body are in order to be able to work on them. Sometimes, the blockage of one chakra impacts other chakras. My yoga teacher put his finger on my health issue, and helped me work on the poses which were the most beneficial to unlock my heart chakra and align my body again. The solution for my lower back issue was so simple - lengthen the trunk, unblock my heart chakra, align my body, and open my heart and soul by practising various shoulder and arms rotation exercises and back bending poses, swimming, and doing activities bringing me back to my childhood, such as ballet, piano and painting. It was surprising to learn that even though my lower back was hurting, the problem was the bad posture of my upper back which put too much pressure on the lower back, and therefore the blockage was not in the sacral or root chakras but in the heart chakra.

Even more important than breaking the pattern of your physical body is breaking the pattern of your mind and soul since they are both connected. Think of the boy who builds his castle too close to the ocean - the waves always destroy it at high tide, and the boy gets disappointed but builds it again and again at the same place. Breaking the pattern is realising that the high tides of the ocean will never change, and therefore the boy is the one who needs to change by building the castle further away from the ocean. It might require more effort as he will need to carry the sand further from the ocean, but the castle will not be destroyed by the waves at high tide. There are three things most of us do in our daily life that we can change in our spiritual journey of self-exploration and self-discovery. 

One of them is negativism - negative thoughts and negative words. When you think of something negative or say something negative, you put this negative energy out there in the universe, and negative things will happen. If, on the contrary, you keep your thoughts positive, expect positive outcomes and utter positive words, positive things will come out. In other words, if you expect the best, there are good chances that it will happen. If you have no negative thoughts, it is highly likely that nothing negative will happen. The beginning of changing your mental pattern should be to start getting only positive things out there in the universe, such as "I am beautiful", "I am smart", "I am bright", "I will enjoy a wonderful holiday", "I will find a great job", and "My business meeting will go smoothly and have positive outcomes".  

Any positive thought, word or expectation is a small but important step of your journey, and will ultimately also help you align and change the pattern of your physical body. Patience is the greatest virtue as transformation might take time but, as long as you are persistent and take small steps, you are on the right path! One of the fundamental questions you need to ask yourself is whether you love yourself, no matter what, and if the answer is no or you are uncertain about the answer, you need to focus on this goal - start loving yourself for the good, the bad and the ugly! We are like a boomerang - we get what we project, and love is infectious. If you love yourself, you will project love around you and people will be attracted by this love, without you doing anything in particular for that to happen. Loving yourself unconditionally is the first step of self-confidence and contentment, no matter what. If you stop focusing on your defaults, this will give you so much time and energy to concentrate on the world around you. Yoga and meditation are the perfect tools for that as inward thinking is important for becoming more self-loving and self-compassionate. All of us must have said at one point in our life "I look so ugly”, "I was so stupid doing this" or even "I am not good at anything" - well, this is the type of sentences you need to completely erase from your vocabulary from now on and forever. Be kind to yourself, always and no matter what!

The second pattern that most of us must break is how we react to anything happening in our life, to the people around us and their words, actions and opinions, and in particular how we deal with the people who have hurt us in the past. First of all, you need to understand that “karma is a bitch” and you cannot change your karma (otherwise than by good or bad acts), but can change the way you react to the events happening in your life. Each event, good or bad, teaches you a lesson. Instead of whining about a specific situation, you should focus on finding what the lesson is and how you can change similar outcomes in the future, in particular by reflecting on the event in a neutral and objective way after removing, or de-escalating, the emotional impact the experience has on you. Also, everyone has the ability to choose life’s actions and for every action a person sets in motion, there is a corresponding reaction. Hindus believe that each person has to face the consequences of past actions but also creates his or her destiny with present deeds, and the ultimate goal is to have karma that will free the soul and gain moksha, or liberation from the cycle of rebirth. 

A good example is the story about forgiveness. Imagine that you are holding a burning coal in your hand, intending to throw it at someone who angered or hurt you. Before burning that person, you would first burn your own hand. The moral of the story is that holding onto anger and refusing to forgive is like holding that burning coal. Before it harms anyone else, it harms you, and if you do not forgive the one who hurt you, the grudge does not disappear when this life ends. You will unknowingly carry that anger and hatred into your next life, and this cycle of suffering will repeat life after life. The only way to break this endless chain is through forgiveness. When you forgive, you do not just heal your present, but you heal your future as well. Forgiveness is not a weakness but a sign of a courageous heart, and you need to forgive others not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace and happiness. In a way, forgiveness is a very selfish act.

Sometimes the emotional side is too strong and we struggle to forgive the person who hurt us, especially if he or she is someone close and important to us, and we see their action as a treason or do not understand it. But this is where we need to break the pattern of our thoughts and the way we interpret the situation and react to it. If someone acts badly, you should not take it personally, but try to understand why they acted the way they did. Because there is always grief and insecurity behind anger. Each angry person is a child with grief. In other words, they do not act badly because of you, but because they feel insecure or grieving, sometimes about things completely unrelated to you. Sometimes they snap at you simply due to jealousy, because you have a loving husband, cute kids, a great and well-paid job, or anything else that they wish for in their life. This is where you need to tell yourself that you have to be the bigger person. When people insult you or tell you that they cannot see anything good in you, just hug them, because life is difficult for the blind. “You hurt me but I forgive you and I release you.” Sometimes you don't need to be best friends, but might be able to maintain basic communication.   

My friend made me write a letter to a close person who had hurt me a lot - I did not have to send the letter, but simply put in writing the way I felt. Before writing the letter, every time I was telling the story to my friends, it brought tears to my eyes and upset me tremendously. After writing it though, everything suddenly became more like relating a bunch of facts and events, without the negative energy and the burden of the emotions I had felt before. Confiding my pain and disappointment in a sheet of paper and addressing the message to the person who had hurt me removed the strong emotions from the way I felt about it. It helped me to acknowledge the situation, forgive that person in my heart, and move forward in my life without any anger, frustration or regrets. I wrote in my letter that even though that person could not find it in her heart to ask for my forgiveness and to love me, I forgave her and loved her, and was moving forward because life was too short and I did not want to continue spending useless energy being hurt, angry and resentful. I realised that I could not  change her or the way she thought of me and this was perfectly fine - I accepted it and in my letter I wished her a healthy and happy life. At the end of the day, I decided to send the letter and, just like that, I got rid of all the anger and pain I had kept for many years… 

Once you have realised that God or the universal energy is in everyone, you cannot hate other people or be angry with them. We are all creations of one God, one universe or one energy, but at the same time we are all different and react differently in life. Quite often we get hurt, angry and upset because we always wanted to be recognised and acknowledged by other people for our work, our qualities, our friendship, or our skills, but instead received their indifference, or even condescension, and felt like we were invisible or everything we were doing was never good enough. Again, you need to break this pattern by ignoring, not letting any of this upset you, keeping your calm, not reacting, meditating, breathing slowly, and not losing your temper. Try to catch flies with honey instead of vinegar! Instead of reacting to circumstances, you have to focus on your inner self and find love, compassion and empathy. If what makes you thick is other people's opinions, you need to change that. You need to understand that you do not need other people to love you - you only need to start loving yourself, and everything will come into place. Love and positive things will come to you if you project love and positive vibes, and you will find your own tribe that have the same interests and values as you. If you do not expect anything from people, you will never get disappointed but - best case scenario - might be pleasantly surprised by them. Finally, forgiving and ignoring does not mean being helpless or giving up. Sometimes, you need to protect yourself and get away from any toxic people who hurt you or are pulling you down, or even stand your ground for the right cause and justice for others. 

At the end of the day, the answer to everything is actually pretty simple - love. And love is addictive. When you love yourself, you attract people to that love. Also, you should not concentrate your love on a single person, but spread it over many people and try to love everyone equally. Instead of loving unconditionally only one person who will die one day as we are all going to die, why not love the creator of all human beings, God, several gods, the universe or the cosmic energy, depending on your beliefs. Whether you believe in God or are an atheist, something has created this universe and all living beings in it, and you can love this source of creation that will never die. When you lose one person, the universe will bring another one in your life, because everything in life is balanced and cyclical. 

Sometimes things in life do not happen the way you wanted them to. You might not realise it now, but sometimes it is for the best. We all have goals in life and try to achieve them, sometimes at any cost, in search of prestige, money, beauty or simply happiness (whatever that means!). And sometimes something does not work despite our hard work and efforts and we do not, or do not want to, realise that the universe is actually trying to tell us that this is not the right path for us. The universe is giving us signs all the time, such as illness, death, argument or loss. It is slapping us on the hand and will continue doing it until we understand that we have to change, instead of persisting and repeating the same mistake many times with the same outcome. We also need to accept that everything is cyclical - spring always comes after winter, and in the same way there are not always good things happening in our life, bad things cannot last forever. The good thing is that nothing is eternal in life and the bad thing is that nothing is eternal in life! Sometimes we just need to be patient, accept things with a smile and wait to see what will come up next.

There are also so many trivial events happening in life that pump your energy, such as a person cutting the line in front of you in the supermarket. When I asked my friend what she would do in such a case, she replied that she would ask herself whether she was in a hurry and, if not, she would let go and move on, as it would not be worth it getting angry and wasting energy for that.

The third pattern we need to break is living either in the past or in the future, and therefore missing the present moment which is the only existing reality. The past and the future only exist in our minds. The most important thing in both yoga practice and in life is to go with the flow and the energy of the universe, and focus on and live in the present. In Hinduism, living in the present is true living. The Buddha also said "The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There is only one moment for you to live: that is the present moment.". According to Laozi, a Chinese philosopher and the author of the Tao Te Ching, the foundational text of Taoism - another religion teaching the way to become one with the universe by living in balance, "If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.". Sometimes we cannot let go of the regrets, guilt or sorrow for the people and opportunities we lost in the past. Sometimes we worry about what will happen in the future. As my Spanish teacher used to say, if you worried too much and nothing happened, you worried for nothing, and if something happened, it would have happened anyway, whether you had worried or not. The plan is no plan! If you do not expect much, miracles happen, but if you expect things that do not happen, it will only bring you disappointment and frustration. 

Practicing yoga will help with many physical and emotional issues in your life, but it goes without saying that there are many other things you can and should do besides yoga to make you happy! During my week in Dehradun, I bought many books, including (if you ask my husband, way too many) spiritual books such as the Osho books. 

I also got some amazing Ayurvedic cosmetics, which smell amazing and make my skin so soft and glowing! Sometimes, making yourself beautiful brings you pleasure and self-esteem and improves your mood! Vanity can actually bring happiness and even put you on the right starting point for your spiritual journey!

As part of my healing retreat in India, my friend and I also went to a beauty parlour and it was quite an interesting experience. The parlour was almost empty and my friend explained that she had never seen it like that. The reason was quite simple - we went there on a Tuesday! India, like Bulgaria, has a lot of superstitions. For example, my friend and I had discovered that in both our countries putting your handbag on the floor was considered bad luck, because it made your money go away, or breaking a mirror brought bad luck (while breaking a glass brought good luck)… Therefore, I was not surprised to learn in the beauty parlour that in Hindu tradition, having a haircut on Tuesdays was avoided due to its association with Mars, a planet linked to aggressiveness and war. This belief impacts health, wealth and spiritual practices, making Tuesday an inauspicious day for grooming activities. However, when I asked one of the staff why they were open on Tuesdays at all, he answered that there were people from different religions and beliefs in India! Another thing which made the experience in the parlour fascinating was that almost all members of the staff were men taking care of women’s hair and nails. In a country when you have separate gates for men and women at airports, hotels, etc., this looked like a paradox to me, but my friend told me that this was perfectly normal. I was mesmerized watching the Sikh man (you can recognise Sikhs by the steel bangles they wear) polish my nails with his big hands covered with tattoos, patiently and with an incredible precision! 

At the end of my spiritual, healing and detox retreat in India, I had learnt three things.

• First, true strength came from the alignment of body, mind and soul, and the combination of Ayurveda, meditation and yoga could help me achieve that.
• Second, the most important "ingredient" of my "magic potion" week in Dehradun was the discussions with my Indian friend. She has known me for more than a decade, since a feng shui master in our office in Singapore had decided that we had a connection and were compatible to sit and work together in the same room. He must have known something because we have travelled together to several countries since then and, even though there were long periods of time during the years when we stayed apart, every time we met again felt like we had seen each other the day before. We have the same values, the same interests, and sometimes even finish each other’s sentences. Also, in the last few years we both have gone through a lot on a personal level. Going through the same mist of life makes you feel closer to a person and in a similar state of mind. My friend knew me so well that she put the theory and the teachings of this week in India into practice. Her explanations made everything sound simple and make perfect sense… 
• Last but not least, India and its knowledge, spirituality and universe were endless… I had managed to see only one tiny drop of rain breaking the surface of the lake, but it had already given me awareness. I had barely started my journey, but my small step already felt like a giant leap forward! Some people never even start such a journey because they lack awareness, they do not even realise that this is something achievable - being content and happy, not in the future, not because you have obtained or achieved something, but being happy here and now, at this very moment, whatever the circumstances. The ultimate goal is to learn to love yourself no matter what, not cry over spilt milk, not worry constantly about everything, not have regrets over past events, and forgive those who have harmed you because they do not know better. My friend rightly told me that it was great to start this process while we were still young, as it gave us the chance of living many happy years to come. I will continue my journey, one step at a time, and hope that you found at least a little bit of inspiration to start your own one day! 

Dhanyavad (“thank you” in hindi), India, you were an eye-opener! 

Disclaimer: This article represents the understanding of the author during a trip to India. It does not contain any dietary, health or other recommendations. While most of the information provided is based on verified sources, the author shall not be responsible for any interpretation made from the content of the present article.